2018 has been tough for me…in ways I never expected. As an introvert, my life is anchored by a small number of deeply loved individuals. So when not one, but two of those anchors got seriously ill, my world was shaken. Everything else in life was put indefinitely on hold. Without question, I jumped into the choppy waters to try to rescue them. That’s what unconditional love is for me. A life preserver when you’re drowning. But as an empath, there’s a fine line between helping others and drowning yourself.
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Being a caregiver and advocate for someone else is incredibly rewarding and also exhausting. Sometimes we think if we close our eyes to rest or take a deep breath, the whole delicate disaster will completely fall apart. Thankfully, I have an amazing support system of family, friends and colleagues that took care of me while I was busy caretaking.
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Especially through trauma, I’m grateful for the bonds of love. Presence to calm suffering. The ability to put others at ease. The knowing that we’re in it together. Love is abundance. Using energy creates more energy.
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I’m still processing and writing and shifting because of it all. But for the first time all year, I’m beginning to feel like I can take a breath again and pick my head up and look forward just a little.
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Thank you to my friends who knew what was going on and reached out with a text or a hug or a night at home cooking us pho.
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Thank you to @drtituschiu who was the unyielding glue that kept us all together. Working tirelessly all day to keep the “real world” practical parts of life running and showing up devotedly all night to wipe my tears and help me find solutions.
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Last month, Titus took me to one of my favorite corners of the world: The French Riviera. We unplugged and recharged. Soaked up the sun, sat on these red rocks, took a deep breath and stared out at the calm Mediterranean waters.
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