Some days, I just feel off. I know I’ve made progress but I feel off today- mentally, emotionally, physically. We have this tendency as humans to want to solve everything. But not everything fits into a pretty package. We can be healing, and stuck, ready and scared, taking care of ourselves and falling apart.
Things are shifting for me, I can feel it- my skin is improving, my digestion problems easing up, new opportunities keep popping up. But I’m only one person and sometimes one thing gets neglected for another. I want there to be an easy answer for how I should prioritize. I want there to be yes and no answers. But the end goal of healing isn’t “I follow a diet protocol, sleep exactly 9 hours a night, don’t do anything that stresses me out, go to the doctor once a week, and batch cook every weekend.” Okay, sure, that’s probably your life when you first are going through a healing crisis. But if that’s the life you dream of long term, I challenge you to look for the bigger picture. Perfectionism is a lie. It doesn’t exist. Perfectionism itself leads to autoimmunity. What about the bigger picture?
Here are a few things that help me when I feel stuck, wanting a perfect life and feeling paralyzed with where I’m at:
- Write it down. Write down all the areas of your life you want to work on, or are struggling in. Which of those areas is causing the most stress? For example, you might be struggling with your diet, your relationship with your partner, stress at work, and fatigue. You might decide that your relationship is causing the most stress, and that you would better be able to cope with the rest of your life if you worked on that first.
- Get outside. Our modern lives are a constant bombardment of stimuli. Our brains weren’t meant to make decisions like that! Get away for an hour, an afternoon or a weekend. Find somewhere peaceful, go on a walk, go camping, go the beach. Sit or walk and let your answers come to you. And it always helps to turn off the cell phone for some extra peace.
- Pretend you’re your best friend. What would you tell her if she was experiencing something similar? What would stand out to you as needing the most attention?
- Listen to what you’re avoiding- it’s probably what you need. For me? I find myself overly focusing on diet when what I really need is to set better boundaries in my personal relationships and at work. Sometimes we create other “to-dos” to avoid addressing what scares us.
So there you have it! For me, this brainstorming brought the realization that my priority is setting better boundaries at work. I’m actually doing okay when it comes to my diet and it just takes time and patience to get results.
So now it’s your turn: are you feeling stuck? Do you feel the pressure of too many competing priorities? Pick one of the strategies above and get started!